tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2143694367787566951.post5921366400648340196..comments2023-09-10T15:57:43.129+01:00Comments on Novel Racers: A Closer LookJenny Beattiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00640209636605410939noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2143694367787566951.post-76184232170191760562009-08-05T09:19:59.624+01:002009-08-05T09:19:59.624+01:00Thank you Captain Black :D
Lori xThank you Captain Black :D<br /><br />Lori xLorixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06670131430773133958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2143694367787566951.post-74842112554954539042009-08-04T18:08:48.770+01:002009-08-04T18:08:48.770+01:00It looks like cold coffee and stale bread for me t...It looks like cold coffee and stale bread for me then. Oh well, perhaps I can salvage them into a frappé and some bread pudding.<br />Here are my thoughts on the opening paragraphs...<br /><br />1. (<i>Norwegian Wood</i>) Dull and boring setting. Dull and boring prose. I wouldn't read on.<br /><br />2. (<i>The Queen's Fool</i>) Suggests fun and laughter throughout the book. Good hook.<br /><br />3. (<i>The Master and the Margarita</i>) Masses of unnecessary details and description. Really slows it down.<br /><br />4. (<i>An Offer You Can't Refuse</i>) Intriguing...<br /><br />5. (<i>The New House</i>) Verging on cliché. Certainly a clichéd theme of waking up. Snore.<br /><br />6. (<i>Arctic & Safari Adventures</i>) Not much to go on but interesting.<br /><br />I'm sure many writing guides and courses will tell us that we need to hook the reader with the first chapter and indeed the first paragraph. My recent experience at <a title="Writers' Holiday at Caerleon" href="http://www.writersholiday.net/caerleon.htm" rel="nofollow">wh@c</a> certainly supported this as an important technique.<br /><br />Here is my opening paragraph from Blood on the Rooftops. See what you think.<br /><br /><i>Of all the crimes she dealt with, Susan Furlong hated rape cases the most. It was rare that they could be clearly solved on the physical evidence, which meant that you had to deal with suspects, witnesses (also rare) and character witnesses. Emotions were always highly charged, and that tended to slow down the process of justice as well. Her most recent case had been no exception, but at least now it was over and the animal responsible was in custody, awaiting sentence. He'd probably get five years and be out in three, she supposed. Nowhere near a harsh enough sentence, in her opinion. True justice would involve bastards like Farnsworth getting their balls cut off.</i><br /><br />Personally, I hate it. For one thing it's far too long. There's tons more wrong with it too, as feedback from my tutor at wh@c has illustrated in no uncertain terms. Oh well, I'll get back to it once I've finished the book.<br /><br />Lori, I like your opening paragraph. Introduces tension very quickly.<br /><br />Good article, Liz.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2143694367787566951.post-40314354932844584152009-08-04T11:22:20.653+01:002009-08-04T11:22:20.653+01:00Just found my way here, wonderful post Liz, great ...Just found my way here, wonderful post Liz, great advice.<br /><br />Here's my current wip for perusal...<br /><br />With shaking hands Alice dialled 999. The calm voice that answered slowed her beating heart a little; help wouldn’t be long now. In hushed tones she said, ‘I need the police, someone’s breaking into my house.’<br />‘Can I have your address please?’ the operator asked. As she whispered her address Alice crawled across the living room floor to try and look out the window. Not an easy task when all you’re wearing is a bath towel, a face mask and some nourishing conditioner.Lorixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06670131430773133958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2143694367787566951.post-47055299836357476992009-08-02T09:07:42.626+01:002009-08-02T09:07:42.626+01:00Great post, Liz and very useful too.
I recognized...Great post, Liz and very useful too.<br /><br />I recognized No 4 (loved the book) and am sure I'd enjoy reading book No 5 by that opening paragraph.<br /><br />Off to look at my one once more now.Deborah Carr (Debs)https://www.blogger.com/profile/03223653554549707595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2143694367787566951.post-38568376121929290942009-08-01T09:16:37.925+01:002009-08-01T09:16:37.925+01:00Excellent ideas here. Like you, Liz, I too found n...Excellent ideas here. Like you, Liz, I too found number 4 the most fetching. And I recognised Philippa Gregopry's opening chapter as one I'd admired when reading the book. <br /><br />I was told long ago that an opening chapter represents the contract between reader and author; it's a sample of what's to come in the rest of the book. At the same time it obviously has to entice the reader. I wonder how a prologue works. Do they give the author an extended tool to tempt the reader, or are they a hindrance?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02658858373848443540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2143694367787566951.post-87053785198248654992009-07-31T19:39:50.570+01:002009-07-31T19:39:50.570+01:00Yes, great post. I'd like to think I have set...Yes, great post. I'd like to think I have set a scene in my first page where the reader should realise that the book is indeed paranormal. I guess I'm taking a chance and it will be probably be re-written at some stage. But for now I'm fairly happy with it.<br /><br />CJ xxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2143694367787566951.post-56104178181091621442009-07-31T16:25:55.122+01:002009-07-31T16:25:55.122+01:00Well, first paragraph of the book I finished earli...Well, first paragraph of the book I finished earlier this year seems to have worked as that's the ms an agent asked for (still waiting to hear back, but the opening obviously hooked them).<br /><br />As for the most recent... I have it open in front of me.<br /><br />'If you asked me what my idea of a good Saturday night out was, standing in the rain watching the police look for a body in a river would not feature high on the list. I’d had to do it before and this time round was no improvement. Although I suppose at least it wasn’t Christmas Day.'<br /><br />It needs a bit of smoothing, but the general tenor of the book is evident, I suppose.Graeme K Talboyshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00147746990011686351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2143694367787566951.post-40731662012345740142009-07-31T13:41:22.787+01:002009-07-31T13:41:22.787+01:00Good stuff, Liz, plenty of food for thought. I di...Good stuff, Liz, plenty of food for thought. I did screw up my courage a couple of weeks ago and stuck the first paragraph of the WIP on my blog and was really pleased with the response. However, I also noticed that there was a sentence doing nothing so I've now changed it to try to make it work harder.Chris Stovellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03741359642268813093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2143694367787566951.post-393114693616044542009-07-31T12:11:32.438+01:002009-07-31T12:11:32.438+01:00Great post Liz. I've posted mine once before, ...Great post Liz. I've posted mine once before, so it's a bit 'cruelty to dumb animals' to do it again (I've been re reading Chalet School books this week, can you tell?!) but I like my first paragraphs usually - I try to put effort into them for this very reason. I especially like my first lines from the Ursula books 1 and 2: <br /><br />1. I found out about the poem on the day my boss turned blue. <br /><br />2. I'd never hit anyone in the face with a wok before, but this was going to call for something slightly more special than my usual levels of violence. <br /><br />I've always tried to use gripping or slightly quirky first lines since I read The Crow Road by Iain M Banks, which begins "It was the day my grandmother exploded" and finishes the first paragraph with "it always seemed to be death that drew me back to Gallanach".Juliette Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18024628240932083512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2143694367787566951.post-89539651607799463842009-07-31T11:52:23.866+01:002009-07-31T11:52:23.866+01:00Gosh Liz, you like the challenge us! Great post. O...Gosh Liz, you like the challenge us! Great post. Opening paras are so important to me at least, all thought if they don't always grab you then read on. My aims for those first words - establish scene, character, sense of place and emotion and try to draw the reader into wanting to know more. But if a first para doesn't do that its not the end of the world. After all there is a certain amount of establishing to be done. You also have a first page and a first chapter to really get them hooked and I often the last paragraph of a first chapter is just as important as the first. For example this is the last para of the first chapter of my teen ghost hunting novel. <br /><br />'All over the town, normal everyday Woodsville people were doing normal everyday things, just like Jay, Kelly, Emily, Bethan and Hashim. And yet soon, four of those five students would look back at recent events and struggle to make sense of it all.<br />And the fifth one?<br />The fifth one would be dead.'Rowan Colemanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01207876813466262196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2143694367787566951.post-90057920959120837422009-07-31T11:51:41.323+01:002009-07-31T11:51:41.323+01:00What an excellent post!
I love first pages, excep...What an excellent post!<br /><br />I love first pages, except my own.Rachel Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13048590167153841615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2143694367787566951.post-5123497895794816432009-07-31T11:47:32.039+01:002009-07-31T11:47:32.039+01:00Good post Liz, as ever. I'm in the throes of r...Good post Liz, as ever. I'm in the throes of rewriting my first scene so this is good timing!Flowerpothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14102679179201725732noreply@blogger.com